They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
