dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
