Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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