oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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