My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
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i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
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I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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