Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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