you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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