thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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