when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
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got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
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College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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