You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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