And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
