i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
