Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
