# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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