once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
