i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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