I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
