He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
