I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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