If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I need moral support for this bender
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
