I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
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