My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
