Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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