just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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