i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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