Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
