I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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