We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
