its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
