Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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