Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
