I wannas sexs uuuuu
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
We got so high we made milksteak
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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