I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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