JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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