i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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