5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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