I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
