if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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