i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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