dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize