It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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