What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
