ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I don't think brook has ever known best
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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