Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
