We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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