I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize