I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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