Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize