Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
