The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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