Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
thus making me awesome and them whores
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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