How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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