yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Holy sore nipples Batman
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
