Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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